Make AI Remember You: Memory and Custom Instructions

Stop re-explaining yourself. Set your preferences once, see exactly what each chatbot remembers about you, and know when to use a "forget this chat" mode.

Checked October 17, 2026. Researched and drafted with help from Grok Bot.

Quick answer

• Custom instructions are standing notes you write once, like "I'm a teacher, keep answers short." The AI reads them before every chat.
• Memory is what the AI picks up about you on its own from your chats, like your kids' names or that you're vegetarian.
• You're in control. ChatGPT, Gemini, Claude and Copilot all let you see, edit, delete or turn off what they remember.
• Use a private-style chat for one-offs. ChatGPT Temporary chat, Gemini Temporary chat and Claude Incognito chats don't add to memory.
• Don't let it remember secrets. Never tell any chatbot passwords, ID numbers or bank details. Claude, for one, refuses to save some of these on purpose.

Where to find it

Chatbot	Custom instructions	Memory settings	"Don't remember this chat"
ChatGPT	Settings → Personalization → Custom Instructions (app: Settings → Customize ChatGPT)	Settings → Personalization → Memory	Temporary chat (choose Personalized or Unpersonalized first)
Gemini	Settings & help → Personal Intelligence → Instructions for Gemini	Settings & help → Personal Intelligence → Memory	Temporary chat (next to New chat)
Claude	Settings → Instructions for Claude	Settings → Memory	Incognito (ghost icon), or turn Memory off in the + menu for one chat
Grok	Custom instructions are offered	Memory across chats is offered	Not documented
Microsoft Copilot	Not found	Settings → Personalization → Saved memories	Delete the chat from history
Perplexity	Project instructions (in a Project)	Personal memory, plus Brain in Projects	Incognito (not verified)

Grok's exact settings locations and Perplexity's memory controls are not verified on an official page. Copilot paths are for the updated Copilot app (from August 18, 2026).

Free or paid?

Chatbot	Custom instructions	Memory
ChatGPT	All plans. Free and Go: 1,500 characters. Plus and up: 5,000	All plans (features vary by plan and region)
Gemini	All users	Past-chat memory: 18+, personal Google account, Keep Activity on. "Remember this" facts: also needs a Google AI plan, US only (for now)
Claude	All plans	On by default for Free, Pro and Max. Searching past chats: paid plans
Copilot	—	Signed-in personal accounts

Which bot remembers best? The verdict

Quick questions

What's the difference between memory and custom instructions? Custom instructions are what you tell it directly. Memory is what it learns over time. OpenAI's own definition matches this.

ChatGPT says "memory full." What do I do? Open Settings → Personalization → Memory and delete saved memories you don't need. OpenAI's current help page doesn't describe a "memory full" message. It says there's no separate storage limit for what ChatGPT can reference from your chat history.

How do I see what ChatGPT remembers about me? Ask it: "What do you remember about me?" Or open the memory summary in Memory settings.

Does deleting a chat delete the memory? Not always. In ChatGPT, deleting a chat doesn't delete a separate saved memory. In Gemini, you delete what it remembers by deleting the chats in Gemini Apps Activity.

Is memory safe? It's useful, but it means the company stores more about you. Keep sensitive details out, and review what's saved every few months.

Before you start

• Sign in. Memory and instructions need an account in every app.
• Privacy reminder: instructions and memories can be used to improve AI models, depending on your settings. ChatGPT, for example, uses them for training when Improve the model for everyone is on. See our free guide AI Privacy and Fact-Checking (coming soon).
• Write it once, in a note: draft your instructions in a notes app first. Then paste them into each chatbot you use.

4 custom instruction templates

Each one is under 1,500 characters, so it fits ChatGPT's free limit. Edit the [brackets].

1. Parent

About me: I'm a parent of two kids, ages [7] and [11], in [city, state]. I work [full-time]. We're on a budget. One child has a [nut allergy].
How to answer: short and practical. Bullet points. Give me the quick answer first, then details if I ask.
For recipes: 30 minutes or less, kid-friendly, nut-free, with a shopping list.
For activities: low-cost, local when possible.
Never: give medical advice as fact. For health questions, tell me when to call a doctor.

2. Student

About me: I'm a [10th grade / college sophomore] student studying [subjects]. I learn best with examples and practice questions.
How to answer: explain step by step in simple words. When I ask for help with homework, give hints first, not the full answer, unless I say "show me."
Format: short paragraphs, key terms in bold, a 3-question quiz at the end of explanations.
Always: tell me if something might be wrong or depends on my teacher's rules.

3. Small business owner

About me: I run [a small bakery] in [town]. 3 employees. Customers are mostly local families. I'm not technical.
My brand voice: friendly, warm, simple. No hype words like "revolutionary."
How to answer: practical steps I can do this week, with rough costs. Use tables for comparisons.
For social posts: under 50 words, 1 emoji, 3 hashtags.
Never: invent prices, policies or product details. Ask me if you need them.

4. Retiree

About me: I'm retired, in my [70s], living in [state]. I enjoy [gardening, travel, grandkids]. I'm new to AI and computers.
How to answer: clear and friendly. Break big steps into small ones. Explain any tech words.
For tech help: tell me exactly which button to press, one step at a time.
For money or health topics: give general info only, and tell me when to ask a professional.
Always: warn me if something sounds like a scam.

What good looks like: after you save it, open a new chat and ask "What do you know about how I like answers?" It should repeat your preferences back.

Step by step: ChatGPT

Custom instructions (web and desktop):

1. Open Settings, then Personalization.
2. Make sure Enable customization is on.
3. Paste your template into Custom Instructions.

On iPhone or Android: Settings → Customize ChatGPT, then the same steps. Changes apply to your next messages and new chats.

Memory:

1. Open Settings → Personalization → Memory.
2. You may see Memory, Reference saved memories, Reference chat history, Memory summary, Manage or Saved memories, depending on your account.
3. Fix a mistake: in the memory summary, type a correction, or highlight text and correct it.
4. Stop a topic: select Don't mention this again (it doesn't delete the original chat).
5. Turn it all off: Delete and turn off memory from the ••• menu. Your past chats stay.

Sources under answers: when ChatGPT uses something personal, Sources may appear below the reply, showing which memory, chat or file it used.

Fully remove something: delete the saved memory and the chat where you first said it. Also check files in Library and any connected apps.

Temporary chat: before you start, choose Unpersonalized if you don't want your memories and instructions used. Temporary chats never create or update memories.

Step by step: Gemini

Instructions for Gemini (all users):

1. Go to gemini.google.com.
2. At the bottom, click Settings & help → Personal Intelligence → Instructions for Gemini.
3. Click Add +, paste your instructions, and click Submit.
4. To edit or delete: find the instruction, click More, then Edit or Delete.
5. To pause them: turn Instructions for Gemini off at the top.

Memory of past chats:

1. Settings & help → Personal Intelligence.
2. Turn Memory on or off.
3. Check it: ask "Did you use any info from past chats?"

Ask it to remember a fact (Google AI plan, US, 18+, for now): say "Remember that I'm vegetarian." Correct it with "Actually, my daughter is 8, not 7."

Delete what it knows: delete the chats that mention it in Gemini Apps Activity. If the info came from a connected app like Gmail, also disconnect that app. You need to do both.

Temporary chat: next to New chat, click Temporary chat. It won't appear in your activity or recent chats, and it can't use Gems or Connected Apps.

Good to know: memory isn't used in Gems or Gemini Live chats. Google says asking Gemini to "forget" a topic doesn't always work perfectly; deleting the chats does.

Step by step: Claude

Instructions for Claude:

1. Click your initials in the lower left corner.
2. Select Settings.
3. Under Instructions for Claude, paste your template. They apply to all your chats.

Memory:

1. Go to Settings → Memory.
2. Turn on Generate memory from chats.
3. Read what Claude knows under Topics. Select a topic to read it, then edit it or select Delete.
4. Want Claude to remember health or other personal topics? Turn on Include sensitive topics in memory. It's off by default.
5. To stop: choose Pause memory (keeps what's saved) or Reset memory (deletes everything, can't be undone).

One chat without memory: start a new chat, click + in the message box, and turn off Memory before your first message. The chat stays in your history.

Incognito: click the ghost icon at the top right of a new chat. Incognito chats aren't saved to memory or your chat history.

Search past chats (Pro, Max, Team, Enterprise): ask "What did we discuss about [topic]?" Turn it off with Search and reference chats in Settings → Memory.

Some things Claude will never save, even if you ask: government ID numbers, criminal history, financial account numbers and immigration status.

Projects: each Claude project has its own memory. To keep it separate, turn off Use account memory on the project's page.

Step by step: Grok

Grok remembers your preferences and past conversations across chats, and lets you add custom instructions, so it can work like a personal assistant across chat, voice, Imagine and your files.

1. Open grok.com or the Grok app and sign in.
2. Look in Settings for custom instructions and memory controls.
3. Paste one of the templates above as your custom instructions.
4. For data controls, go to Profile → Settings → Data Controls.

Not verified on an official page: the exact names and locations of Grok's memory and custom-instruction settings, and how to view or delete individual memories. SpaceXSI's Grok page lists "Memory across chats" and "Custom instructions" as features; the Data Controls path is from SpaceXSI's FAQ.

Step by step: Microsoft Copilot

For the updated Copilot app (August 18, 2026 and later), signed in with a personal Microsoft account:

1. Open Settings, then Personalization.
2. See or delete memories: select Manage next to Saved memories. Delete one, or select Delete all memories.
3. Stop new memories: turn off Saved memories. This doesn't delete what's already saved.

Just ask: "What do you know about me?" "Remember that I like gardening." "Forget that I like sci-fi movies."

Also in Personalization: One shared experience (uses your Bing, Edge and MSN activity) and Web search toggles.

Not found: a dedicated custom-instructions box in the consumer Copilot app.

Perplexity, in short

The 3-month memory check-up

Every few months, in each chatbot you use:

1. Ask: "What do you remember about me? List everything."
2. Delete anything wrong, old or too personal.
3. Re-read your custom instructions. Update your kids' ages, your job, your goals.
4. Check your training setting (ChatGPT Improve the model for everyone; Copilot Privacy; Claude privacy settings).

Common mistakes and fixes

Problem	Likely cause	Fix
It remembers something wrong	Old or misread info	Correct it in chat ("Actually…"), then check the memory list
It keeps bringing up an old topic	Memory from past chats	ChatGPT: Don't mention this again. Gemini: delete those chats. Claude: delete the topic
Instructions are ignored	Too long, or customization is off	ChatGPT: check Enable customization. Keep the most important rule first
Instructions too long to save	ChatGPT character limit	Free/Go: 1,500 characters. Cut extras, or move job-specific rules into a Project
Gemini "remember" doesn't work	Feature needs AI plan, US, 18+	Use Instructions for Gemini instead (all users)
A Project shows memories you didn't want	Default memory	ChatGPT: switch the Project to Project-only memory. Claude: turn off Use account memory

Prompt pack

What do you remember about me? List everything, grouped by topic.

Based on our chats, suggest custom instructions for me. Under 1,000 characters. Ask before including anything personal.

Forget [detail]. Confirm when it's removed.

Remember this for future chats: [preference]. Then tell me where I can see or delete it.

For this chat only, ignore my usual preferences and answer like [style].

Turn my preferences into one short paragraph I can paste into another AI app.

Next level

• I5: ChatGPT Projects Step by Step shows project-only memory in detail.
• A3: Build Your Own AI Assistant turns your instructions into a reusable assistant (Gemini skills, Claude Skills, ChatGPT Plugins).
• AI Privacy and Fact-Checking (free beginner guide, coming soon) covers training opt-outs for every bot.